*J0keRs*

AhBeng Jokes

Why does AhBeng go to a movie with his 18 friends?
- Because below 18 is not allowed. =X

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AhBeng wants to buy a TV set.
AhBeng: "Do you have a color TV?"
Sales Girl: "Yes!"
AhBeng: "Give me a green one, please."

* * *

AhBeng is filling up an application form for a job.
He supplied the information for the columns on Name, Age, Address, etc.
Then he comes to a comlumn on "Salary Expected", but he is not sure of the question.
After much thought, he writes "Yes".

* * *

After taking photocopies of documents, AhBeng always compares it with the original for spelling mistakes.

* * *

AhBeng always smiles during lightning storms because he thinks his picture is being taken.

* * *

AhBeng had just bought a new computer and was using it.
When he encountered some problems, he decide to use the 'Help' command after some tries.
Soon after, he became very irritated and called the computer retailer for support.
Ah Beng : "I press the 'F1' key for help lah, but it's been over half an hour and still nobody come and help me?!"

* * *

Ah Beng with two red ears went to his doctor.
The doctor asked him what had happened to his ears.
He answered, "I was ironing a shirt and the phone ring, but instead of picking up the phone, I accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear."
"Oh dear !" the doctor exclaimed in disbelief. "But ... what happened to the other ear ?"
Ah Beng answered : "That stupid dumbo called back, lah!!!"

* * *

Ah Beng talk to a long-distance telephone operator.
Ah Beng : "COULD YOU PLEASE TELL ME THE TIME DIFFERENCE BETWEEN Taipei AND LAS VEGAS ?"
Operator : "JUST A MINUTE..."
Ah Beng : "THANK YOU." and puts down the phone.

* * *

At a bar in New York, the man to Ah Beng's left tells the bartender, JOHNNIE WALKER, SINGLE" and his companion says, "JACK DANIELS, SINGLE".
The bartender approaches Ah Beng and asks, "AND YOU, SIR ?"Ah Beng replies : "Tan Ah Beng, MARRIED.


credits: cephrenes @Cyxion Forums

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Mr. Bean Jokes

BRAIN TUMOR
Doctor: I regret to tell you that you have a brain tumor.
Mr. Bean: Yesss!!! (jumps in joy)
Doctor: Did you understand what I just told you?
Mr. Bean: Yes of course, do you think I'm dumb?
Doctor: Then why are you so happy?
Mr. Bean: Because that proves that I have a brain!

* * *

MR. BEAN WHILE IN GRADE SCHOOL
Teacher: What is 5 plus 4?
Mr. Bean: 9
Teacher: What is 4 plus 5?
Mr. Bean: Are you trying to fool me, you've just twisted the figure, the answer is 6!!

* * *

WHILE IN A DRUG STORE
Mr. Bean: I'd like some vitamins for my grandson.
Clerk: Sir, vitamin A, B or C?
Mr. Bean: Any will do, my grandson doesn't know the alphabet yet!!

* * *

AT AN ATM MACHINE
Friend: What are you looking at?
Mr. Bean: I know your PIN no., hee, hee.
Friend: Alright, what is my PIN no. if you saw it?
Mr. Bean: four asterisks (****)!

* * *

DEATH OF HIS MOTHER
Mr. Bean: (crying) the doctor called, Mom's dead.
Friend: condolence, my friend.
(After 2 minutes)
Mr. Bean cries even louder
Friend: what now?
Mr. Bean: my sister just called, her mom died too!

* * *

MR. BEAN ATTENDING A MEETING
Colleague: Sorry I'm late. I got stuck in an elevator for 4 hrs becauseof a power failure.
Mr. Bean: That's alright, me too...I got stuck on the escalator for 3hrs.


credits: cephrenes @Cyxion Forums