*J0keRs*

AhBeng Jokes

Why does AhBeng go to a movie with his 18 friends?
- Because below 18 is not allowed. =X

* * *

AhBeng wants to buy a TV set.
AhBeng: "Do you have a color TV?"
Sales Girl: "Yes!"
AhBeng: "Give me a green one, please."

* * *

AhBeng is filling up an application form for a job.
He supplied the information for the columns on Name, Age, Address, etc.
Then he comes to a comlumn on "Salary Expected", but he is not sure of the question.
After much thought, he writes "Yes".

* * *

After taking photocopies of documents, AhBeng always compares it with the original for spelling mistakes.

* * *

AhBeng always smiles during lightning storms because he thinks his picture is being taken.

* * *

AhBeng had just bought a new computer and was using it.
When he encountered some problems, he decide to use the 'Help' command after some tries.
Soon after, he became very irritated and called the computer retailer for support.
Ah Beng : "I press the 'F1' key for help lah, but it's been over half an hour and still nobody come and help me?!"

* * *

Ah Beng with two red ears went to his doctor.
The doctor asked him what had happened to his ears.
He answered, "I was ironing a shirt and the phone ring, but instead of picking up the phone, I accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear."
"Oh dear !" the doctor exclaimed in disbelief. "But ... what happened to the other ear ?"
Ah Beng answered : "That stupid dumbo called back, lah!!!"

* * *

Ah Beng talk to a long-distance telephone operator.
Ah Beng : "COULD YOU PLEASE TELL ME THE TIME DIFFERENCE BETWEEN Taipei AND LAS VEGAS ?"
Operator : "JUST A MINUTE..."
Ah Beng : "THANK YOU." and puts down the phone.

* * *

At a bar in New York, the man to Ah Beng's left tells the bartender, JOHNNIE WALKER, SINGLE" and his companion says, "JACK DANIELS, SINGLE".
The bartender approaches Ah Beng and asks, "AND YOU, SIR ?"Ah Beng replies : "Tan Ah Beng, MARRIED.


credits: cephrenes @Cyxion Forums

- - - - - - - - - - - - -

Mr. Bean Jokes

BRAIN TUMOR
Doctor: I regret to tell you that you have a brain tumor.
Mr. Bean: Yesss!!! (jumps in joy)
Doctor: Did you understand what I just told you?
Mr. Bean: Yes of course, do you think I'm dumb?
Doctor: Then why are you so happy?
Mr. Bean: Because that proves that I have a brain!

* * *

MR. BEAN WHILE IN GRADE SCHOOL
Teacher: What is 5 plus 4?
Mr. Bean: 9
Teacher: What is 4 plus 5?
Mr. Bean: Are you trying to fool me, you've just twisted the figure, the answer is 6!!

* * *

WHILE IN A DRUG STORE
Mr. Bean: I'd like some vitamins for my grandson.
Clerk: Sir, vitamin A, B or C?
Mr. Bean: Any will do, my grandson doesn't know the alphabet yet!!

* * *

AT AN ATM MACHINE
Friend: What are you looking at?
Mr. Bean: I know your PIN no., hee, hee.
Friend: Alright, what is my PIN no. if you saw it?
Mr. Bean: four asterisks (****)!

* * *

DEATH OF HIS MOTHER
Mr. Bean: (crying) the doctor called, Mom's dead.
Friend: condolence, my friend.
(After 2 minutes)
Mr. Bean cries even louder
Friend: what now?
Mr. Bean: my sister just called, her mom died too!

* * *

MR. BEAN ATTENDING A MEETING
Colleague: Sorry I'm late. I got stuck in an elevator for 4 hrs becauseof a power failure.
Mr. Bean: That's alright, me too...I got stuck on the escalator for 3hrs.


credits: cephrenes @Cyxion Forums

At Last ~

Finally.. ma paper was ended 5 hours and 35 mins ago o.O
It was a tough paper.. there are two section.. 30 MCQ and 8 Short-essay.. the 30 MCQ was no problem for me BUT the 8 short-essay really make me crazy.. looking at the question and whatever I had studied or memorised.. the "memory" of my brain seems to be get virus x.X I can't remember!!! I really do the best as I write a lot of "rubbish" and hope the "rubbish" is the good answers for the questions o.O aim for a pass AT LEAST .. luckily got MCQ..
I don't know I sleep how long.. I think 2-3 hours.. right now I am going to faint @@
Is weather and I guess I gonna get sick..
I feel I gonna get fever..
ANYWAY.. tmr enjOY!! la-la-la ~ I'm gonna had my live concert XD poor thing is that only 2 audience ==""

zZz

*OinK 0iNk*

c0unT-d0wN ~

Lo0king at the cLocK.. there is 24hours left for my ONLY paper T^T
ROAR!!! I feel so sick and tire.. becauseee~ I feel I gonna get sick but I cant afford to get any sickness at this time [x.X] sooOoo~ my body condition is like stuck in middle o.O
Last night was so energetic!!! I don't know WHY!!! too nervous?! guess soOo..
whats more?! I can feel my brain memory is full.. I wonder how many MB/GB are there o.O
oH weLL~ back to study..

T^T

Questi0n'S' & Answer'S'

suddenly.. there is a lot of question mark in my mind.. the answers of those questions remind unknown and mystery to me..
I have no idea what I want..
I have no idea what to do..
and I am wasting my time..

preparing for my exam next week but whenever I open my book.. less than 3 second and I had walk away.. What am I doing!?
after my exam.. I will be starting a brand new life for my own.. I don't see any direction in front of me.. I am lost in the jungle.. is there an exit? or will there be an entrance?
I am playing hide and seek in my own field [x.X]

oH great.. what to do now?
continue study la stuuuUupID!!! ==""'

d0t dOt dot'S' ~

HappY BirthDaY mY Frenz~

oh yea.. is mY frenz birthdaY few days ago.. jz have a simple celebration for them XD


had a nice dinner and cake XD yummyyy~~~

tIramIsu & Ch0coLate M0Ose~~~ mMmmMmmM~~~

*BirtHdaY GirLs*


*mE witH BirthdaY GirLs* XD


*cHeesseeeEe~ OR *ButteRrrRr~ =="" XD



tOdaY had a tiring day... went to dancing classes *reaLLy enj0Y XP* and back home continued my own practice =="" no energY.. not good.. must learn my muscle.. and "cut off" my tummYyyYy!!! =="""

lalala~
BacK to STUDY!!!
one more weekkkkkKk!!!

tHe cHanCe~

sigH~ I just found out about the SM Entertainment UCC Contest.. where it is the contest of your talent as in singing, dancing, acting, your pretty/handsome picture, etc.. too bad I had missed the chance which is already started long time ago that is on March =="' and NOW is JUNE =="'
oh boy.. there it goes~~~ only if I knew it, I would have show off my dance ><
think of it.. why is it everytime is too late for me to notify something important to me?! WHY?! sigh.. Fate/Faith? o.0

well.. thinkin at the positive side.. mayb there will be more chance and even luck waiting for me? *lol* how silly am I!!! hahaha~

oh well.. next week is my final paper and is the only paper of my final exam and is my very last paper of my study life (I guess if I did not fail o.0 *CHOI*)

Tomorrow MUST study ediii!!!!
. . .

x.X

c0Ld~ ~~ zZz . .

really cold at night.. exercise warm my body up ^^
zzz.. sleepy.. what I done today?
I wake up early morning!!! omg!! thats really amazing as I always wait the sun burn my ass to get me out of my bed XD went to library for study.. thought of staying till evening but end up 3 hours @@ wanted to download videos/clips in lab but.. zZz~
back home continue play my online game XP practice dance lehhh!!! lazZz gal ==
practice pratice TIME ^^ oh yea.. gonna finish one dance.. I'm C0minG~
Evening accompany my friend shop.. is ACCOMPANY o.0 I did not shop.. lalala~ v^^v
I wanna buy cap!!! XD how how how?! lalala~
had hainanese chicken claypot rice.. is NICE! ... jelak-nYaaAa~ n0 m0Re ChicKen riCe in My LiFe!!! *v0mit* heavy garlic.. chicken.. *yuCk~ ==

zZz~ tiRe le.. wanna sleep.. zZz

stuDY HaRd!!!
wisH ME LUCK!!!

惭愧

很多事情.. 说要做就必须做.. 但是 ，到最后我没做到 . . .
等.. 难道时间会为我停留下来吗？
该怎么补救做不到的事呢？

今天的事今天做完.. 等明天干嘛？难道我那么幸运可以等到明天吗？
饿着肚子 ，坐在椅子上.. 食物就会自动送到我面前来吗？
饿了就会自己去找食物.. 可是该做的事怎么不会自动去做呢？

两句形容自己：懒惰！

是时候了..
不要等了..
不可以在路上慢步了..
冲啊！

- 惭愧的心 -

lala ~ XD

oh yeaaa.. YoU~ You Got You Got You Got What I Need~ La La LA ~~~
hehe.. evening went to dance *hoho~* HipHop and Locking.. it was great!!! well..actually every week I went.. I getting fall in love with Locking.. it is an interesting dance.. I guess that IF I practice more and get the move.. I will definitely enjoy the dance ^^ so sad that I only get to know this place this year instead of last year.. or else I would have learn for one year!!! T^T wondering if I still can continue learn even if I go back M'sia T^T

enj0y tHis m0meNt ~

低落~

像个傻婆
呆呆的

情绪来了
不知该怎么办
眼泪停留着
心好酸

放过我吧
让我去远离的地方
就当我们彼此没见过

这不是逃避
而是离去

我的離去
才會讓他們知道我的存在
或许我从来不存在?

時間
會把我的存在
從他們的記憶裡慢慢消失

烦死！

真是的.. 一个两个都真是烦死！不要上网聊天了！不上msn 或 skype了！
Pissed Me OFF!!!

她.. 一直说我花很多钱.. 我知道OK！已经没购物了还在提我花钱！我说没钱了，不要去旅行。她还说：我花很多叻。 *火山爆发* 妒忌啊！不爽我购漂亮衣服是吗！？ 欠扁啊！
说不停.. 又问去跳舞一堂多少钱.. 一个星期去几次.. 问问问！
我去跳舞又必须钱.. 又怎么样！又不爽是吗！
你到底知道什么！

一些就只会说风凉话而已！

真是气死了！

结尾~

终于来到结尾了..
12 weeks 的学期过了.. 大学的日子完了..
接下来就是等我的最后一张大考.. 再接下来又会怎么样呢？

过去的几个星期死去活来 T^T 一切都变成过去了.. 现在真是松了一口气..
这个周末真是要好好浪费时间 == *时间是宝贵呃！
哎哟.. 想一想 ，我过去真的是浪费我的宝贵时间噢 T^T
必须好好思想我该做的事 T^T
那我该做什么呢？ @@

现在脑袋空白 *lol*
休息！休みます。

60% ReLieve~

phew.. finish Jap written test.. it was alright but.. BUT!!! there is a few question from assignment and I FORGOT the answer T^T
haizzz.. 大丈夫か。

1 assignment + 1 Jap Listening Test + 1 Quizzz...
Tmr listening test.. day after *FridaY* assignment due + quizz.. then.. I M FREEEEEeeEee~
*soBbsssSss*

Tmr test no problem bahh.. assignment finished 70%.. quizz.. haven study yet T^T

reLaxXx~~

zZz *niTeeeEee~*

WeeK 12 @@

week 12 which means.. the last week of the semester! test.. final.. assignment due all come at once!!! Mon - Japanese Comprehensive Written Test.. Wed - Japanese Listening Test.. Fri - assignment due + test..

@@

今 日本語を勉強します。(Now, study Japanese)
lol.. even though I m in Level 3 already BUT.. I feel I still stuck in Level 1.. because I did not study hard!!! haizz.. lazzzzzzzzz~
yesterday waste my day again.. today finish it all at once T^T
sianzz.. hate myself for doin that !!!

arghhhhh~


がんばります！

sObsss~~

omg.. I haven finish my part for my group assignment!!!! wanna cryyyyyyyyyy T^T too many words and reading make me crazy.. and last night wanna do but end up fall aslep T^T and i slept with wet hair!!! did not dry it before when to bed and wake up make me feel so headache!!!!
I am stress to 100% and i duno what to do!!! sianzzz..

With the course I taking right now.. there is a lot of research on annual report T^T thats what I hate about it.. plus my terrible eng especially grammar..
haizz.. don like my course though.. already gonna finish!!! Last semester already.. whats life next? Hope I wont be so lazy and work hard T^T

stresss
.
.
.
stresss
.
.
.
T^T
arghhhhhhhhhhhh ~
headache.. simply doooooooooooooo !!!!!!!!!!!!

*s0bsss*

stRess~

now I realise that is been long time I din not blog.. normally blog once a week..
feeling getting restless and stressly.. lately quite moody.. don't feel like talking to anyone..
I feel that something is bothering me.. really down..
when such emotion happen to me.. I'll eat alot..
recently I really eat a lot and upset my stomach T^T *siGh~

wanted to study for my quiz but my brain seems to not coorporate with me.. been forget about what I have study.. *Haizzz~
I still left one more assignment, that is a group assignment.. member does not do work make me and my partner pissed..

tommorrow is my quiz and I haven even finish study.. should I sleep now and wake up early to study?

. . .

*sobsss~*

老了？

昨天 ，去JazzFunk舞蹈班.. *爽* 但是.. 我的knee肿得真漂亮！上个星期的还没消肿就有extra一个大大的！ 另外 ，今天起床发现自己的身体腰酸背疼！一定是跳得太High了.. 回家了还继续自己练另一支舞！

唉.. 懒惰的我到现在还没去找工！笨蛋！馬鹿(baka)！T^T 讨厌！还不快踏出第一步！真伤感..

*撞壁* [x. X]

*毛病发作~*

寂しい

今は。。一人です。 寂しいですね~













深夜了.. 在msn里对一个又接着一个地说声.. 晚安~
朋友们都入眠了.. 留下我独自一个人..
什么时候到我入眠呢？不是我睡不着哦！是不可以睡着！
现在的我 ，正赶着明天要交的assignment.. 什么原因做不完就不说了.. 只要想起火山就爆发咯！

* * *

主题.. “人生只有一次”

想一想.. 真的是只有一次.. 因为每件发生过了的事情不可以回头了..
想一想.. 我的路程已经走错了.. 走错的路程只好继续走下去.. 抬起头就想着未来是怎么样的..
想一想.. 我的梦想会实现吗？还是.. 我的梦想只是“三分钟热度”而已？
想一想.. 我有认真地把每一间事情做好吗？

感到惭愧的我.. 无话可说..
我.. 浪费了我的人生..
宝贵的时间.. 回来吧！

* * *

回家的路程..

*叹气* 今天的日子就这样过了..
*累* 明天又是怎么样的日子呢？
*慌* 谁来协助我？
*泪* 谁来让我依靠？




对不起~ 我不是个坚强的人..

tiRed . . .

finally my wireless network is connected.. takes weeks for me to settle down.. feel restless..

last night having dinner with the gang ^^ then went to have some dessert XD Iced Ch0coLate!!! so sad that it taste bad on that day.. is milky!!! I never taste like that before in KoKo BLack T^T It should be riCh Ch0coLate!!! so sad~

anyway.. have fun hanging out ^^


piCtures ~

wanna hav soMe?! XP


FriendS~


MicHeLLe & Suez ^^



sigH~ been quite lazy lately.. even also quite lazy to login to my blog..
guess I not gonna post anything at the moment..


*FeeLinG tiRe witH tHe waY oF LiFe n0w*

. . .

mY daYs~

FridaY

Morning was a boring day.. really boring! I attend my finance class and I find that subject is far more boring than what I expected. The lecturer.. omg~ give us assignment and been changing mind all the time about what assignment to give us and even give us the topic late! What the.. wasting so much time in class.. *B0rinG LectuRe* These week gonna be a busy since I also have Japanese test as well T^T Really lazy!!! I have to keep myself busy!!! Been telling myself to look for part-time job and now end up... ( ... )
Whenever come to the end of the class.. my energy goes up!!! *LOL* Friday is a great day ^^

At night, I went to belly dance!!! *LOVE IT* =3
hehe.. hope I can slim down XD

Middle night.. HAHAhahahHaa~ LIFELY!!! I just love night time.. It is a great atmosphere to me ^^ Is like.. everybody went to bed and I am awake to do whatever I want! haha.. just a description of my feeling XD
I love to enjoy drama in the middle night.. well.. recently chasing My GirL .. Great drama!!! =3 I prefer My Girl than My Name is Kim Sam Soon ^^ Kim Sam Soon drama is too draggy!!! I dont like people come to undecided situation in love relationship.. Saying dont wanna see him anymore but.. when the guy called up.. she still went to see him ==lll My Girl is different! hehe.. thats my opinion ^^
Come to think of it.. I make jelly!!! sianzzz~ 200gram of sugar equal to how many of table spoon? ( ?? ) NO IDEA!!! haha.. stuuuupid!! the jelly was being cooked again and again and again~ WHY? beeecause.. I been adding sugar again and again and again.. almost needed more than 10 table spoon!!! @@ *d0nt blame me for first-timeR* LOL.. it was preparation for house warming..


SaturdaY

Woke up before the time reached 12noon @@
House WarminG!!! lol.. I wonder my jelly successful or not XD
Well.. it was a unlucky and *lucky* day @@ what happen?
FIRST.. goin to dancing class by tram.. and on the way.. I couldnt find my ticket!!! I just bought it weiii!!!! A new ticket that can use 10times!!! SIAO~ *stay calm* sigh.. no choice.. jz take the tram to city and buy another new one.. went to 7-eleven and all end up.. OUT OF STOCK!!! *Fainted* no choice.. I got no coin to buy in machine so I'll jz drop by my friend house.. went to a convenient shop nearby and finally I got one..
G00d.. Second.. I am gonna be late for class.. walk down the street.. I was so happen to look down and saw something attached in my pocket.. hand in to see what it is.. and.. it is my new ticket that I thought is lost!!! @@ all the trouble.. all the searching.. but.. is actually in my pocket.. It was a brand new ticket as I just wash my pants the day before.. there were no sign like is been in washing machine @@
G00d.. found my ticket.. reached the dancing centre.. lots of people.. omg.. no class!!!! Is this some kind of joke!!!!
*晕* *fainted* *pengsan* *失神*

wHat a daY~

whats next? thats the end of my unlucky and "lucky" period..
House warming in the afternoon ^^
It was great!!! I ate more than my limited appetite XP

Middle night.. chasing the drama again! HHAhaa~ always stay until 4-5am only go to bed XP
love it T^T


Note: wiLL post more about great KOREAN DRAMA *^-^*

- Continue assignment - T^T

*BLehhh~ XP

PS: I just notice is *ApriL F00L* but what I write is TRUE!!! ==lll